Leviticus 19:17-18 Do not bear a grudge against others, but settle your differences with them, so that you will not commit a sin because of them. Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbours as you love yourself.
Unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. It is easy to forgive and forget the offender and the brutality of an offence as long as we don’t see the wrongdoer. However, if the thought, name or memory of the abuser turns a knife in our heart there is still unforgiveness hidden in our heart. Forgiveness is like peeling an onion. When we think we have peeled a layer but there is another one to peel.
Physicians have confirmed that healing from physical ailment or recovery from a surgery or wound will be prolonged and would take twice as long to heal if we harbour grudge, resentment and unforgiveness. Forgiveness is like unlocking a door for someone else to be free and realising that you were the prisoner. However, forgiveness is one of the most difficult commands that is expected of us, hence Jesus led by example. Jesus forgave the ruthless, violent and heartless abusers who crucified Him, not after His resurrection but while He hung naked, beaten, bleeding and broken on the cross. He forgave the callous, cruel and cold-blooded murderers not because they deserved it or pleaded for it but to establish the power of the cross and the forgiveness that flows from His blood. Unforgiveness is a foothold of the devil and is a subtle demonic force that will imprison us behind the walls of bitterness.
Three ways to overcome unforgiveness:
1. Unknot: The difference between fighting for justice and fostering anger against injustice is that, the former will loosen the knot of resentment whereas the latter will twist the knot of bitterness. The only way we can forgive the offender and unknot ourselves from unforgiveness is to separate the ‘offence’ from the ‘offender’. We must stand against the injustice but must forgive the crook. Holding grudge is like letting someone live rent-free in your head. It is like hurting ourselves and expect the other person to suffer the pain. Picture the abuser as an unintelligent, dim-witted, tiny mouse picking a fight with an elephant. Allow God to fight your battle; a mice can never win against an elephant. Untangle, unknot and unravel the offence from the offender.
2. Untie: Unforgiveness is spiritual slavery. Unforgiveness is emotional bondage that consumes your mind, with memories of offences, distorts emotions with revenge and fills our heart with churning unrest – Dr. Charles Stanley. Meditating on the wrongdoer is like carrying a dead rat in your backpack. Forgive the wrongdoer, dump the dead rat and do yourself a favour.It is humanly impossible to forget the betrayal, brutality or the treachery but choose not to remember, entertain or brood over it and set yourself free. While God fights the battle and establishes justice we can enjoy freedom, joy and peace. Untie yourself from the bondage, memories and bitterness and enjoy freedom.
3. Unbolt: Unforgiveness builds a wall of bitterness around us, not around the villain and imprisons us and not the robber. Unforgiveness is choosing to stay trapped in a jail cell of bitterness, serving for someone else’s crime. Unlock the prison of bitterness and allow God to vindicate. Romans 12:19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD. The easiest way to unbolt and walk out of the prison of bitterness is to pray for the betrayers, abusers and offenders. Bless those who have cursed, cheated and conned you and God will vindicate your case. Unbolt the prison of unforgiveness with benevolence.
Forgiveness is noble, godly and rewarding. Don’t harbour unforgiveness and give the devil a foothold in your life.
Mark 11:25 And when you stand and pray, forgive anything you may have against anyone, so that your Father in Heaven will forgive the wrongs you have done.”
Prayer: Dear Jesus, teach me to forgive like you did. Help me not to repeat, replay and brood over the offence and build the wall of bitterness. Help me to forgive to receive your favour. Amen
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