1 Timothy 1:15 You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes.
Stress caused by rejection stabs our self-esteem. ‘Social snub’ augments anger, anxiety, envy, and depression. Neuroscience has concluded after extensive research that emotional pain caused by rejection, loss or betrayal has almost the same effect as physical pain. Research says that the regions of the brain that get activated during a physical injury, bleeding or accident substantially overlap when we go through an emotional pain/stress. Hence neuropsychology confirms that emotional pain, stigma, or rejection, literally hurts.
Apostle Paul was at the last leg of his race. The beaten, bruised, bleeding and bare footed prisoner during his second imprisonment at Rome, writes a letter to his adopted son Timothy just a few months before he was martyred for his faith. Paul refers to some names of friends, leaders and co-workers who deserted him in his journey of faith. Paul particularly highlights, “Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm” (1 Timothy 4:14). After a race that was run with vigor and victory, Paul shares the stress of ‘selfless service’. He bleeds through these words on his scroll as he mentions the comrades who left him and ostracized him at the time and hour he needed them the most!
Dr. Paul Babiak, in his book ‘Snakes in Suits’ lists the different scenarios wherein the sly and seditious slip into our lives and leave us blistered and bitten. At the fag end of his triumphant journey, Paul appeals to his trusted friend Timothy to surround him with genuine affection. Do your best to get here before winter (1 Timothy 4:21). There will be stress in service, ministry, and career. Stress doesn’t pass the sincere and sink only the fraudulent. Even the honest and integrous go through stress of rejection, accusations, and criticism.
Three learnings from the sedulous servant of God, Paul the Apostle:
- Objection: Be prepared for objection and opposition. “Truth will always be opposed, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance” – Clement Stone. There was severe opposition to the truth that Paul preached everywhere he went. He was assaulted, injured, insulted, imprisoned, and stoned, yet he did not stop preaching the truth. Be prepared for opposition but be perseverant in your mission.
- Dejection: Paul was able to cope with the false accusation of Demetrius, the silversmith in Ephesus but when Demas, a fellow-worker and friend left him, it broke him. He was prepared for snakebites from enemies but not stings from friends. Not everyone will survive the fire. The fire will expose the foes but reinforce friendships. So, be prepared even for well-wishers to turn into wistful wolves. Don’t let dejection drain your passion.
- Rejection: Rejection builds resilience. Paul was locked-up in prison but could not be knocked-down with rejection. ‘As far as the brain is concerned, a broken heart may not be so different from a broken arm’ – Kirsten Weir. Take time to heal. Recover, rebuild, and rebound.
The stress of rejection made Paul bolder and better not bitter. May the wounds of rejection heal and rebuild resilience in us.
1 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Prayer: Father God, when rejection injures my heart, be my healer and the restorer of my life. Amen.
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