Proverbs 18:14 The spirit of a man sustains him in sickness, But as for a broken spirit, who can bear it?
As sickness burdens the body, abuse breaks the spirit. Misuse of power, position and potent is abuse. Verbal, physical or sexual abuse leaves the victim with a broken spirit. Misuse of authority or relational proximity could become abusive leaving the offended in emotional shock. Research proves that the same area of the brain which feels physical pain is activated when we suffer emotional strain or experience social rejection in relationships. The trauma of emotional abuse leaves an open door for the attack of the demonic realm. Addiction, depression or isolation is only a compulsive reaction of an abused, rejected and broken spirit.
Jesus is the healer of the broken hearted. In 1 Samuel 25 we read about a wealthy, nasty and abusive man and his pretty, pious and intelligent wife. 1 Samuel 25:3 His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings. Abigail’s husband Nabal abused David’s men who protected Nabal’s herd and preserved his property. Abigail was informed of the folly of her husband and the danger of his abusive behaviour; hence she moved quickly and wisely to preserve herself and her household. Don’t let abuse cripple your future.
Three lessons from Abigail to deal with abuse and heal brokenness:
1. Quickly: Abigail wasted no time. 1 Samuel 15:18a Abigail acted quickly. Abuse must be dealt with immediately. It is like a profusely bleeding physical wound. If the bleeding is not stopped it could be life threatening. Similarly, if the brokenness of the heart that is caused by the abuse is not treated, it will lead to mental breakdown and bitterness of the soul. Don’t ignore the insults, hurt and harshness of the abuse and brush it under a carpet. Speak it over to the Lord and to trusted Godly counsellors. A hidden wound will infect our spirit, poison our soul and pollute our behaviour. Deal with the abuse immediately.
2. Resolutely: Abigail was resolute to resolve the issue hence, she stepped out of her comfort zone to seek resolution. 1 Samuel 25:20b David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. The effect of abuse will infiltrate into every area of life. It will make us better or bitter; forgiving or resentful; sore or tough; snappy or strong; the choice is ours. Be decisive to apply the medication of God’s Word over the broken spirit. The promises of God prevails over the words of mere men. Abigail met David at the foot of the hill. Let us meet with the King of Kings with the hurt, harm and horror and He will exchange beauty for ashes and a bouquet for the bruise.
3. Wisely: The abuser is foolish to harm a child of God. Let God deal with the abuser. 1 Samuel 25:25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. Be wise, sadness, sorrow or sulkiness is not going to change the past. Even revenge will not reverse the abuse. Vindication is the Lord’s. We give access to the abuser to continue to hurt us when we brood and breakdown. Wisdom will teach us to forgive the abuser, pick up valuable lessons and turn the treachery into a testimony!
If abuse is not dealt with quickly and accurately it will break the wholeness of life and become burdensome to our soul. Remember, “The most sweet hearted people are the ones who are the most mistreated ones”.
1 Samuel 25:35 “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.”
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