Psalm 133:1 How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!
Brotherhood/sisterhood plays a very important part in the holistic development of a person. Growing up in a community, family and fellowship will instil leadership and companionship. However there are no perfect families hence the challenges we struggle through shapes our personalities. The Bible describes in detail the internal politics and groupism that existed in the families of Isaac & Jacob to teach and correct our own dysfunctions. There were twelve children in the Jacob’s but the father favoured the eleventh son Joseph which injected insidious envy between the brothers. Jacob himself grew up in a dysfunctional home where there was discrimination between him and his twin brother Esau. Esau was a bold, strong, hairy hunter and enveloped the heart of his father Isaac. Whereas Jacob was an excellent baker, cleaner and cook and hence enthralled the love of his mother. Hence Jacob grew without his father’s guidance whereas Esau grew without his mother’s care which caused enmity that turned into lethal animosity between the brothers. Even today, such disparity, discrimination and dysfunction exist in one way or the other, including in the most perfect families.
The bottom line is, when Christ is the foundation then, all other relationships will become enjoyable, agreeable and acceptable. When our Heavenly father becomes our divine parent, sibling, spouse and friends, all other earthly relationships become pleasurable.
Three causes and solutions of sibling rivalry:
1. Disparity: Inequality, discrepancy and different scales and standards causes disunity among blood, social or spiritual brothers and sisters. Jacob gave Joseph his favourite son a multicolour cloak which gave him a distinct place in the family. Disparity caused bitter envy. Joseph’s security was not his coat, cloak or crown but on the Lord, hence several years later, he was able to show love to the same brother who hated him. Don’t let the disparity, difference and disproportion in treatment define who you are. You are not who people have defined you to be but who God has called you to be.
2. Discrimination: Inequality brews insecurity. Clothing defined the profession and prestige in Biblical days, hence, the special coat exempted Joseph from shepherding duties while the other brothers suffered the heat of the desert sun and the biting cold of the nights. Furthermore, Joseph had dreams that he was going to rule over them and so it made his brothers all the more insecure, anxious and apprehensive. Those who have suffered prejudice, bias and bigotry during the formative years of their life will be insecure, people pleasers and crotchety. To undo the effects of discrimination suffered we must shift our trust from people, prosperity or profession to God.
3. Dysfunction: Dysfunctions of the past will sabotage the present if it is not unwound from our mind, vocabulary and system. It is not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters. Hurting people hurt others and broken people break others. Our self-esteem and self-worth should not be based on opinions, validations or acceptance of people but on the perceptions and promises of God. Don’t let your own dysfunction or the brokenness of others divert you from who you are. Reiterate God’s validations over your life and break the yoke of dysfunction over your life.
When we view both the blood and spiritual brothers and sisters as broken people, we will be able to love, forgive and accept even our enemies.
John 13:34 “I give you a new command: Love one another; Just as I have loved you.
Prayer: Dear Jesus, help me to treat my blood and spiritual brothers and sister with empathy, understanding and compassion. Amen
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