A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. Proverbs 18:19
Offence is a byproduct of insults or emotional injuries. Offence is a bitterroot that spreads fast and deep. It doesn’t take long for us to be upset, angry or agitated about something or someone. The writer of the book of Hebrew says See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews 12:15). Offence not only embitters our soul but also poisons others around us. Offence is a poisonous weed that can smother the garden and siphon the richness of the soil killing healthy plants. Offence is like the ‘field bindweed’ that is tough and difficult to eradicate. The arrowhead-shaped leaves wrap around plants and spread across lawns so densely that it can kill them! Offence wraps around our soul injecting poison and numbing compassion.
Joshua was offended with God when they lost the battle at Ai. Joshua said, “Alas, Sovereign Lord, why did you ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us? (Joshua 7:7). Joshua was cold, complaining and critical in his response to the Lord. The Lord’s response to Joshua was succinct yet succulent. “Stand up! What are you doing down on your face? (vs 10). In other words, the Lord said, “Stop mourning and get going”.
Three signs and solutions to offence:
- Cold: The first sign that bitterroots of offence are sinking deep down into our soul is when we turn a cold shoulder to God or people. Ostracizing people or God only hurts us rather than helping us to heal. Remember cold grows mold. God had sent the Joshua generation to possess the Promised Land yet, disobedience struck Israel with defeat. Coldness will only paralyze our progress. Confession is the first step to uproot the bitterness from an infested soul.
- Complain: Secondly, we would hear ourselves complaining and repeating about an incident or an offense over and over again if bitterness is hidden in the crevices of our heart. There are those who mourn about abuse decades later and there are others who even cringe about people who have kicked the grave. Check the conversations that go on in your head when you are alone. What we recite to ourselves is what we would repeat to others. Joshua complained about how the enemies who would attack and annihilate them from the face of the earth. Stop complaining and start praising.
- Closure: Thirdly, the bitterroots will not seek closure but a committee to gossip. If we repeat an offence under the banner of ‘counseling”, over and over again, it means that the roots are growing deeper and contaminating our being. The more we discuss and disclose details, the more the offense would hurt. Bring closure by surrendering to the Lord. Pick a Godly counselor and follow advice meticulously to recuperate. We have healed from offence only when the thought about the person does not regurgitate the reflux of the past. Bring a closure by nailing the offence to the cross.
Offence is a bitterroot and will contaminate the soul if not uprooted.
Proverb 19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offence.
Prayer: Dear Jesus, teach me to handle offence the way you did. Show me to guard my soul from the bitterroot of offence. Amen.
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