John 11:21 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.
The sisters Mary and Martha were offended by Jesus due to His delayed reaction to their SOS call about their brother’s sickness. When Jesus got the news He was in a place called Bethabara beyond the Jordan (John 10:40) which was about 15 miles or 5 hours away from Bethany. However, Jesus arrived only 4 days after Lazarus was buried in the tomb. Traditionally the funeral of the Jews was within 24 hours. Five hour journey took five days for Jesus. Hence the disappointment turned into bitter resentment for the sisters. Mary first refused to go and see Him but Martha rushed to tongue lash Jesus with her frustration. The way the sisters processed their painful loss was by blaming Jesus for not arriving on time. The unexplained traumatic experiences left unresolved resentment with God.
Resentment is the foundation of offence. Resentment finds ways and means to shift the blame of the mishap on God or others. Offence is a fracture to the soul caused by a shattered expectation. The sisters would have expected Jesus to drop what He was doing and rush to the Bethany. They had witnessed the Miracle Worker and hosted healing services in their house. So, they knew if Jesus had come on time their brother would not have died. When God does not respond to our expectation and fit into our timetable, we are left with the blue bruise of offence.
Results and resolutions:
- Brash: When our vocabulary becomes brash and bashful then, offence has cut deep into our soul. Two common ways of reaction would be to completely ostracize the offender and go into a silent-mode or to become abrupt, angry and agitated. Psalms 38:8b I groan because of the agitation of my heart. Brashness is a verbal expression of pain hidden in our heart. Blame does not make the pain go away, it only worsens it. So, ease your pain by pouring Godliness and gentleness over it. Benevolence is the balm that heals a brash tongue.
- Bruise: A bruise is a skin discoloration due to an internal injury that causes the blood vessels under the skin to rupture and bleed. Offence is the internal bleeding of the soul. Untreated bruises might turn into a painful abscess. Hoarding resentment and frustration will become a painful cyst in the soul. Stop blaming others for your pain. Forgiveness and forbearance is the balm that heals the bruise of disappointment, abscess of frustration and the cyst of resentment.
- Blow: The effect of a traumatic blow normally worsens overtime, if left untreated. Offence does the same to the soul. The longer we carry offence the tighter it lodges onto the soul. A traumatic emotional blow will make a permanent bend to our perceptions, perspectives and perturbations if left untreated. Guard your thoughts and the threads of a painful distress. The fracture gets wider the more we blame others for our dysfunctions and bad choices. The sisters recovered from the unexpected death of their brother as soon as they stopped blaming and started believing that Jesus could raise him from the dead. Put on the helmet of salvation to protect your thoughts.
Offence can become an abscess if left untreated, so forgive, love and let go. Life is too short to live in resentment.
Proverbs 10:19 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
Prayer: Dear Jesus, help me not to hold unforgiveness or unresolved resentment towards anyone. May my tongue be brushed with the balm of benevolence. Amen.
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