Luke 15:28-29 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.
‘Older Brother Syndrome’ springs from insecurity. This is a dysfunction in the body of Christ where believers serve out of obligation and not compassion. Hence there is comparison, competition and contention. Striving to be better than everyone else becomes a character flaw when it turns into an ugly antagonism. If our achievements, approval and accolades are the only source of satisfaction to the soul, character is being built on the shaky foundation of insecurity. Failure to such people will be devastating and extensively damaging. They have to be winners always and must be approved and accepted, if not they would sulk, cringe and complain. Insecurity seeks attention. An insecure person needs constant reassurance, pampering, attention, and appreciation. They are looking for validation all the time.
If the opinion of others pedals our thoughts and actions then insecurity is the bridle that is controlling our life.
In the parable of the Prodigal Son, the elder brother’s behaviour highlighted signs of insecurity. His reaction to the return of the prodigal underscored profound silliness! There was no compassion, only nasty comparison. His argument was to prove that he had outperformed his brother and was enraged that he has not been rewarded. In fact he would have been relieved when the younger brother left home with his share of wealth. Insecurity hates healthy competition. Insecurity kills the enthusiasm in a team.
Signs of Insecurity:
1. Approval: The elder brother served for the approval of his father. Insecurity feeds on approval and acceptance. Enthusiasm weakens when there is no recognition or rewards. It is important to be acknowledged and appreciated; even a dog needs a pat, but if approval fuels our actions then, insecurity is brewing in the heart. Getting our intentions right and aligning our actions with our purpose will get rid of insecurity.
2. Animosity: The elder brother was furious to see the celebration for the return of the prodigal. Promotion of others disturbs the peace and steals the joy of the insecure. Celebrating the success of others destroys insecurity.
3. Alienation: The elder brother refused to join the party. Withdrawal and alienation are detrimental behaviour patterns of insecurity.
Learning to separate the action from the person helps to identify and get rid of insecurity. ‘You have committed a mistake, you are not a mistake.’
Acknowledgement and appreciation are important but when acceptance is wheeling our actions, insecurity is being fueled.
Psalms 75:6-7 For promotion comes neither from the east, nor from the west, Nor from the south. But God is the judge.
Prayer: Dearest Lord Jesus, let there be no trace or sign of insecurity in me. You are my security and your approval and acceptance is my treasure and my delight. Amen.
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