John 8:3 the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
The neurobiological effects of shame are found in the frontal lobe of the brain that activates the sympathetic nervous system generating the flight/fight/freeze response. Shame is a powerful force that would make us want to sink into the ground and disappear. According to Dr. Curt Thompson – Neurobiologist and Psychiatrist, emotional response including shame develops from the age of 15 months, even before cognitive development. Shame causes us to shrivel but it is at its worst in our own private brain space when the strong unhealthy driver insidiously rehearses the incident, traumatizes and crushes the soul.
The psychology behind the bully who defames or treats others in a pejorative way is the ‘need to feel superior’. Bullies who harass or intimidate others also suffer with the acute pain of shame. By making another person small the bully feels bigger or holier.
A bunch of bullies brought a woman caught in adultery to Jesus. According to the Mosaic law the adulterer must be stoned to death (Leviticus 20:10). The woman was dragged to the feet of Jesus with shame and tears covering her face. She would have wanted to vanish into thin air and end the nasty ordeal quickly, by being stoned to death. Jesus is the greatest Neurobiologist and Psychologist the world has ever known. He treated not only the victim but also the assailants. He concluded His judgment in one sentence “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” The ruthless attackers left one by one beginning with the oldest. The oldest bully had the heaviest load of shame hidden in his heart!
All of us have experienced shame. However, once we have surrendered the misdeeds and mishaps at the feet of Jesus, no satanic agent has the right to stigmatize us.
Three tips to handle shame:
1. Flight: Flight is the physical reaction but insight is the spiritual response. Remember when you feel damaged and broken beyond repair, stop wallowing in self-pity and delve deeper into the Grace of God. We who are forgiven by the blood of Jesus are not covered with shame but endowed with the splendor of His Grace. Don’t flee, stand firm.
2. Fight: Fighting is another reaction. Don’t fight to prove your innocence. The ones accusing you are not innocent either. In fact, they are marred more than you. Let God do the fighting. Silence is the best retaliation to shame. Don’t try to cover-up something that the Lord has already forgiven. Forgiveness is like taking a shower. The sin and shame have been washed away. Don’t fight, stand still.
- Freeze: Humiliation and defamation causes our sympathetic nervous system to freeze. Freeze mode kills enthusiasm and causes us to hide behind closed doors. So, Pray for those who persecute you! (Matthew 5:44). Blessing the bullies makes you more righteous than them. Don’t freeze, praise.
The defamers who shame us are themselves stigmatized with shame, so pray for them.
John 8:10 Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
Prayer: Sweet Jesus, thank you for standing with me when I was defamed and covering me with the splendor of your Grace. Amen.
Leave a Reply