Luke 22:62 Peter left the courtyard, weeping bitterly.
Peter was plagued by guilt and tormented by shame after he denied Jesus three times. The stigmatized right hand man of Jesus went and hid himself in shame. He was the only one found at the courtyard of Caiaphas, the High Priest, after Jesus was arrested but he was not to be found at Calvary. Guilt had crushed his soul and shame was swallowing him alive. He could not face Jesus again at the cross after fervidly disowning his Saviour and Friend.
Guilt, shame and stigma though used synonymously are distinct in their meanings. Guilt is ‘action based’. It is a legal state of being found culpable. It is a position of being accountable and responsible for falling short of God’s standards. Shame on the other hand is ‘identity based’. It is internalizing the shortfall and reshaping the identity based on the failing. Shame is a mental state of self-humiliation. Stigma on the other hand is a mark of disgrace. To stigmatize is to brand and dishonor a person with scarlet letters based on what they have done or what has been done to them. Precisely, guilt is being responsible for what is wrong. Shame is internalizing the wrongdoing, “I am bad, dirty and damaged”. Stigma is the cruelty of clothing yourself with the branded garment as a ‘sinner, liar, deceiver or fraud’.
Jesus paid a special visit to rip the shroud of stigma and heal Peter from guilt and shame. The antidote to shame and stigma is the cross and the blood of Jesus. If we carry the burden of our sins after repentance we have not understood the power of the blood and the cross of Calvary.
Break the yoke of guilt, shame and stigma:
1. Scar: Sin leaves an inerasable stain and scar on the soul. Sin has consequences. It leaves us with a legal liability that can never be repaid. Peter’s denial could never be reversed. We still remember him as the “betrayer”, however, Peter does not carry the guilt as the blood of Jesus is the divine detergent and sin-stain remover. Through the betrayal of Peter we see the power of forgiveness that erased his ugly sins and ordained him as a powerful preacher and pioneer of the church. The scar of sin does not define your future.
2. Shame: Shame makes us hide behind walls, layers, accomplishments or professions. Shame crushed the enthusiasm of Peter and made him hide behind his occupation (fishing). In most cases perfectionists are stigmatized workaholics trying to hide behind the walls of their career. Separate the action from the person. You are not what you did. The blood has forgiven what you did. Your identity is not in your failure but in Christ Jesus.
- Stigma: Stigma marks and brands us based on our past. People will only treat you the way you treat yourself. If you shrink in shame, society will stigmatize and marginalize you. Stand tall with your shoulders upright to defeat the arrows of stigma that are shot at you. You are marked by the precious blood not by your broken past.
Shake free from the clutches of guilt, shame and stigma.
Romans 3:22 We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ.
Prayer: Dear Jesus, please set me free from the sting of guilt, repression of shame and oppression of stigma. Amen.
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